Friendship & Being Yourself

For my 1st Friendship article, let me officially introduce myself to you…

Hi, my name is Fia, & I love to:
1. Help people.
2. Give advice to help people.
(If you happened to be surprised on the 2nd fact, I’m somehow not surprised. But let’s move on now, please…)
Strangely, I’m frankly and ironically the type who gets easily irksome with uncalled, unsolicited advice.  The most recent incident recollected was when I bought water at a supermarket’s checkout line.  Behind me, this guy (around the same age as me) spontaneously and adamantly advised me that it’s bad to drink water from the [plastics]–blah, blah, blah.

The logical, analyzing part of me did understand where the premise came from; I am a sucker for reading health articles, for the record.  But when it came to challenging my social etiquette, inside of me was developing that red-faced, blood-boiling cartoon character getting aggravated because somebody invaded my personal space.

So for this reason, I decided to put all of this worded, seemingly cathartic energy into my blog, so that YOU can freely decide whether to read it or not.

Another challenge with this 2nd fact was dealing with my more dominantly introverted persona, which, I bluntly want to reinstate…

Yes, I am shy, but: Introversion does NOT equal shyness, or vice versa.  (Details will most certainly be coming up soon!)

See: if you’ve interacted with me in-person, I’d talk normally (I assume) yet I’d incline onto listen mode.  But when it came to deeper conversations, such as boy troubles or work issues, & you were looking for advice, saying something was difficult for me to give off right away–unlike for my lovely extroverted buddies.

This is when writing became my hobby partner-in-crime.  I want to delve into my thoughts first before audible words potentially become indelible.  So as a fair warning: please don’t ever tell me to post on Youtube–until I let you know it’s absolutely okay.  Remember: this topic is about being yourself, so let’s stay coherent, shall we?

Now that I mention it…

I can [finally] approach this Be Yourself subject, focused to you.

If you already know, deep down in your spirits–or your neurons, if you’re radically pro-science–and you are being honest with both yourself and others…stay this way.

That’s right, flaunt what you were born with.  If you honestly feel your best and natural to be:

-Very liberal
-Painstakingly cautious
-A hypochondriac
-A World of Warcraft addict
-A sex kitten
-A workaholic
-A Victor Hugo fan
-A medical marijuana advocate
-The center of attention
-Etc, etc, etc…I can go on & on, but there’s this thing called time…

Please, stay that way.  UNLESS…

-YOU don’t like how you act, & YOU want to change, for YOU.  Understand?
-You are intentionally harming people or yourself.

Why do I think it’s such a big deal?  Well then, my questions to you are:

Who do you know will really be supporting you?  Who really won’t give a darn about you?  Who are the most trustworthy and unconditionally loving people you can think of when you, for instance, decide to…

-Come out of the closet
-Reveal your idiosyncratic, perceptibly weird favorites (I won’t mind sharing this tidbit of mine: I am EXCITED to listen and sing to Christmas music again. And what?)
-Mope for months & months because you lost something irreplaceable or someone (i.e. a dream job or death)
-Start over something to get better
-Change location and move out-of-state
-Change career
-Date somebody who may not fit others’ standards–as long as you are deep-down, truly happy to be in this relationship
-Put in hours of studying instead of evening Happy Hour to reach your ultimate career goals
-Not party wild anymore
-Become rich because you have genuine skills that qualify you to make 6-figure income
-Leave something that isn’t working for you

When you have the answers: you better have it written down somewhere so that, when you feel absolutely ready, you can thank these people.  If you have noticed this outline, they pretty much reveal a consistent theme: change*, which I now fully accepted that it’s required to have a fulfilling, flourishing life for the better.

If people are okay with your change or your quirks: these are the ones who you should spend some of your valuable time or keep in touch with, even as tiny as a “Like” button on your friend’s picture of her tripping on a skateboard–if she’s the one posting it.  Reflecting on my experience with the guy behind the checkout line, I have accepted his unexpected interaction with me; I’m naturally flustered from utter invasion of my introverted bubble.

However, those who are unwilling to accept, backstab you, mind your change, or will take advantage of you…this means that, one, they don’t really love you, and two, they can no longer belong in your precious, present moment.  Or they no longer can fit into your chapter 27, unlike in chapter 19.  I’m not saying that if you reveal something, they’ll automatically back away; I’m stating that once you’re more comfortable or ready to expose more of yourself, there is definitely some social risk involved, and you need to be aware of this and trust your feelings.

Because once you realize this…I know that this is difficult to deliberately let go, especially if you have the tendency to “attach,”…in order for YOU to be at your best self, you need to cut these strings–and (internally) thank and/or contact those who you have answered easily to my questions.

In other words: if they can’t be happy for you, what’s worse: hanging onto them still, or forgetting about those who already love you?

So give yourself a pat in the back, a treat to your favorite spa, or a good ‘ol nap.  You deserve a happy life and an everyday satisfying one because you’re being yourself.  I thank you for being you; even if you feel strange in your own way, I don’t mind & I am always here to listen =).

“Be who you are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” -Dr. Seuss


*To all friends of mine: if there is some change happening to you, and you somehow think I don’t care,–falsies: that’s simply because I don’t know what is going on with you, & I would rather hear from you directly.  I check Facebook, but I’m not the type who will snoop around your page or take too much time on the already overwhelming News Feed. *Cross my heart*

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